Hurray for the new Miss USA

I managed to catch my first Miss USA Beauty Pageant this week and what a joy it was!

Putting aside the obvious anachronistic objections associated with such pageantry, I was looking forward to seeing some pretty girls in even prettier dresses wishing for an end to hunger and for world peace in a non-ironic way, this being America an' all.

This was going to be comedic TV at its best!

And how right I was!

Miss Tennessee had me in stitches. When asked to tell us about the fact that she spent some of her college time in Paris, she said, "Well, its kind of a funny story actually. I decided to apply to college and got accepted and then of course I rang my Mom to check that it was ok and she said yes and so I went to college, (cue girlie giggle)" And the punch line? No, that WAS the punch line! Oh, to have the sartorial talent of Miss Tennessee - us mere mortals can only wish for such wit and repartee.

Then there was Miss California, the girl lucky enough to eventually be crowned Miss USA 2011. She was asked to expand on the fact that she was a secret history buff. Now, I was fully prepared to hear that she was a closet history professor from Yale or Harvard. We are led to believe these days that a beauty queen must have brains as well as boobs, sorry I meant looks. Isn't a PhD in Astro Physics a pre-requisite?

Miss California it turns out likes to spend her time in bookstores reading up on Tudor and Stuart history - so far so good.

'Oh my Gosh, I just love history, especially the tudors and stuarts, and I NEVER miss an episode of Game of Thrones!'.

Hold on a minute, rewind - Game of Thrones - you mean the fantasy HBO epic based loosely on medieval fifedoms and warlording? The show with dragons? The show where anyone living north of Sheffield is a 'Wildling' and the area now known as Scotland is awash with zombie like monsters called White Walkers?

Did nobody have the decency to tell the poor girl it wasn't actually real!? or did I fall asleep in that particular history lesson?

The terrifying thing is that Miss California, sorry - Miss USA - now gets to go and visit the Troops on a morale boosting Tour of Beauty Duty. God forbid she should address the US Marines - 'Go get them there Dragons Boys and watch out for the Direwolves! God Bless America'

Oh dear.